Tuesday, April 28, 2009
When last we left Davis Square, we explored some of the many ways that Davis Square is hip. Below are follow-up reasons why Davis Square is a cool place to be.
1. Davis Square is where Spock sacrificed himself to save the Enterprise.
2. Davis Square is not only where Ann-Margaret lives, but where Sophia Loren lives as well.
3. Davis Square helped Garth to get pubes.
4. Davis Square features "The Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera as its soundtrack.
5. Davis Square is where Han is frozen in carbonite.
The list goes on, but before we know it, we're suddenly marching down the streets of Davis Square in a slimed Statue of Liberty or are having re-match fights between Rocky and Apollo. And we don't need that.
Monday, April 27, 2009
In 1997, Davis Square was listed by the Utne Reader as one of the fifteen "hippest places to live" live" in the United States. What follows are the reasons why it received this honor:
1. Unlike the neighboring Harvard Square, Davis square was named after something other than a pretentious ivy league academic community.
2. "Davis" is an anagram of "Divas," and divas have hips. Therefore, Davis Square is hip.
3. The Davis Square T station is one of the stops on the Red Line of the MBTA subway.
4. Person Davis, the namesake of Davis Square, also had hips.
5. While most urban intersections don't feature random statues of creepy people making weird poses in ambiguously defined constructs, Davis Square does.
Therefore, Davis Square is one of the hippest places to live in America. Obviously.
Friday, April 3, 2009
During the Prohibition era, people couldn’t legally serve or consume alcohol in the United States. This noble experiment lasted from 1920 to 1933, and was ended when FDR signed the 21st Amendment allowing alcohol sales and consumption to be legal again. When people found out they couldn’t buy alcohol legally, they decided to buy it illegally. This could happen at two different kinds of places: a speakeasy or a blind pig. What, though, are the differences between the two?
- A speakeasy often served food and high-end beverages, and a blind pig only served cheap liquor and beer.
- A speakeasy was called “speakeasy” because there was a girl named “Speak” at all of the bars, and she was easy. A blind pig was called “blind pig” because the inside of the bar smelled like bacon, and only a pig that was blind would be dumb enough to not run away from a slaughter house when he sees all of the dead pigs hanging up on the outside of the building. They would then be turned into bacon. Because they didn’t run away. And pigs are supposed to be smart, too.
- “Speakeasy” begins with an “S,” and “blind pig” begins with a “B.”
Once Prohibition was repealed in 1933, bars like Rudy’s could be created with wooden front doors that are still in use in 2009. Which is really historical and impressive and stuff.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
NEIL: Excuse me, Mr. Roman Centurion man, can you tell me how to get to the Russian Tea Room?
CENTURION: I would find it difficult to do your duty.
NEIL: Well, it’s certainly not anyone’s duty, I was just wondering how to get there from here…
CENTURION: I think you’ve been afraid all your life.
NEIL: Afraid? No, not really. I don’t want to get too close to those horses over there, but otherwise Central Park South seems like a pretty chill place to be.
CENTURION: I knew a man once who said, “Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”
NEIL: Did you, now?
CENTURION: I’ve seen much of the rest of the world. It is brutal and cruel and dark, Rome is the light.
NEIL: Well, that may be, but I was looking for the Russian Tea Room—
CENTURION: My name is Gladiator.
NEIL: Oh. Right. I’m Neil—
CENTURION: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???
NEIL: Well, no, you see, I’m lost—
CENTURION: What we do in life…echoes in eternity.
NEIL: Did anyone ever tell you you look like Russell Crowe?
CENTURION: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
NEIL: Right. Well, it was nice to meet you Gladiator/Maximus Decimus Meridius, but perhaps I should go—
CENTURION: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???
NEIL: No, I’m really not. Bye.