Mountainville, NY is considered a “hamlet,” though the geographic distinction has no formal place in New York State law like its close relatives “village,” “city,” and “census-designated place.” Given this lack of legal distinction, the residents of Mountainville have had to resort to their own methods to determine the qualities of a “hamlet.” What follows is a charter drafted by the residents to provide visitors with an overview of how Mountainville distinguishes itself from neighboring communities.
- All residents of Mountainville must wear traditional Elizabethan clothing at all times.
- All residents of Mountainville must carry around skulls of deceased court jesters at all times.
- All Danish noblewomen living in Mountainville must take Prozac.
- All populations of Mountainville must be centered in the area around Taylor Road between Route 32 and the New York State Thruway.
- All monkeys currently residing in Mountainville must be positioned in front of typewriters at all times.
- All plays performed in Mountainville must explore themes of treachery, revenge, incest, and moral corruption.
- All residents of Mountainville must have a postal zip code of 10953.
- All Danish noblewomen living in Mountainville must avoid water.
- All dramatic structures of plays drafted and performed in Mountainville must reverse conventional precedent centering on the theory that a drama should focus on action, not character. Rather, said plays must be driven by the use of soliloquies so that the audience learns of main characters’ motives and thoughts.
- All residents of Mountainville must like trees.
Through this overview, visitors of Mountainville will better understand the nature of its residents, Danish noblewomen, and monkeys.