Neil Meets the Gladiator

On the Southeast Corner of Central Park, NYC

NEIL: Excuse me, Mr. Roman Centurion man, can you tell me how to get to the Russian Tea Room?

CENTURION: I would find it difficult to do your duty.

NEIL: Well, it’s certainly not anyone’s duty, I was just wondering how to get there from here…

CENTURION: I think you’ve been afraid all your life.

NEIL: Afraid? No, not really. I don’t want to get too close to those horses over there, but otherwise Central Park South seems like a pretty chill place to be.

CENTURION: I knew a man once who said, “Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.”

NEIL: Did you, now?

CENTURION: I’ve seen much of the rest of the world. It is brutal and cruel and dark, Rome is the light.

NEIL: Well, that may be, but I was looking for the Russian Tea Room—

CENTURION: My name is Gladiator.

NEIL: Oh. Right. I’m Neil—

CENTURION: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

NEIL: Well, no, you see, I’m lost—

CENTURION: What we do in life…echoes in eternity.

NEIL: Did anyone ever tell you you look like Russell Crowe?

CENTURION: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

NEIL: Right. Well, it was nice to meet you Gladiator/Maximus Decimus Meridius, but perhaps I should go—

CENTURION: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

NEIL: No, I’m really not. Bye.