The Financial District, NYCThere is a lot of talk right now about our floundering economy. Unemployment rates are up. Our nation's GDP is down. We haven't seen a bull market since the 1950s. I've decided that our country needs help, and I'm the one that will have to give it to them. I've created a list of three things that I am going to do to jumpstart our economy:
1. I am going to find every Monopoly and Life game at every garage sale in the country and infuse our markets with the fake bills. This currency will, after all, be more valuable than the dollar.
2. I am going to pretend that the last eight years never happened.
3. I am going to wear a suit made of question marks like that creepy guy that tells us his book will teach us how to get free money to write a novel.
This is exactly what our country needs: inflation, denial, and fraud. Without the proper combination of these measures, we will have to tell the homeless person that panhandles to us that we're pretty much about to become his neighbor.
Bonus.
1 comments:
How do you reconcile your desire to pretend the last eight years didn't happen with your positive attitude toward inflation, denial, and fraud? Don't those three things pretty much sum up the past eight years?
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